It’s so unfair

Children are stressful, but Teenagers are whole other ballgame..

To all the fellow parents out there, I’m sure you’ve all heard from your parents “I hope your child ends up half as bad as you were”. I know I have, many times. Well, did my parents get what they wanted or what? In the last 5 years, I’ve put up with so many things from my kids that I question my ability as a parent daily.

So far, my children have managed to have police at my house, more than once, social workers and I’ve nearly gone toe-to-toe with several Mum’s. I will do anything for my children, absolutely anything, to keep them safe, but this is all getting completely ridiculous now. When will it end? When will they realise that their behaviour is completely unacceptable? When they have their own kids and hear my words of “I hope your children are half as bad as you were” echo through their minds? I sincerely hope it doesn’t take that long.

I consider myself to be a strict parent. Things are very black & white in my house, as in, it’s either acceptable or it’s not. I don’t believe in having things be acceptable sometimes and not others, as this gives mixed messages. When I was growing up, I was blessed with a parent who personally did not give a flying hoot what I did, so long as it didn’t affect them in any way. If it did, however, that was a different story and usually resulted in me being thrown out. I swore, that my children would always know where they stand. Now, whilst I say I’m strict, I would also like to think I’m fair. Nothing I do or say should be a shock, as I will say things like “If you’re late home, I will take however long you’ve been late off you for tomorrow night”, or “I’m sick of the dishes either being left, or not being done correctly, so if it happens again, you’ll not be going out tomorrow”. I outline expectations and consequences quite clearly, yet, they still do as they damn well please. Not a single fuck is given in this house. This being said, they would describe as scary because I’m a shouter. Well, clearly, I’m not that scary, if I’m having to shout about the same old things, day in, day out, and they still do as they please.

All teenagers go through a rebellious stage, I know this. I of all people really do know this, but c’mon? 3 teenagers at once? All of them going through a Kevin, fuck you, I’m an adult, I know what the meaning of life is, bore off, phase. Can I just get a break? Completely exasperated over here.

I work full time, and when I’m not working I’m cleaning and spending time with the kids. They think the fact I ask them to do the dishes (we have a dishwasher, just thought I’d add that in), and clean their own bathroom, I’m being ‘unfair’. Then when I go to the cupboard to get something, I will spend the next 5 minutes essentially pulling the contents of it out, to wash it by hand, their excuse is “it’s the dishwashers fault, not mine, I did what I was told”. Shit you not. That is the excuse. Then there is their bathroom. A room you use to become clean, and I fear I’ll get hepatitis from just standing in it. Their excuse then? “Well they didn’t do it when it was their turn, so I didn’t do my turn”. What the actual…? What can you even say to that?  I don’t feel that I ask a lot of them, I just ask that they help me out. I don’t see why I should have to spend my days off cleaning, to then have to go back to work, so they can be lazy. How is that fair?

Totally at my wits end over here. Would be great to hear from other parents, to know If you have issues with your teenagers. What kind of discipline do you use? Do you feel it’s unfair to ask teenagers to do chores around the house? Do you think I give mine too much/little?


Adulting sucks

Adulting is tiring. Fact. We spend our whole youth willing mile stone birthdays. First we cannot wait to be 10, because this is double digits. Then we cannot wait to be 13, then 16, 18, and 21. We wish our youth away, as we’re so eager to grow and do as we please. Pffft how naive were we right? Adulting sucks!

I’m a married mother of 4 who works full time. Do I really need to elaborate much more than that? Every single waking moment of my life is busy. I’ve always got something going on, and for the most part I like it, as keeping busy distracts my anxious thoughts. Although I understand that being busy is good for me, It would just be nice to not have to adult some times.

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m mentally mature for adulting. Do you know what I mean? Like, I look at others my age, or younger, and I think “wow, they really have their shit together” or “They are so much more mature than I am”. I still feel like I’m 18, and that every single day I wake up and just wing it. I often worry that I missed an invitation to ‘Adulting College’ , where people were educated and given tips on how to adult.

I have been on holiday for the last 2 weeks and I have to say, it’s been a pretty meh holiday. We have just moved house (again), so the first week was spent packing. Albeit very lazy packing. We just took it nice and easy over the week, given it was terrible weather and we knew we had a week to get it done. Then this week it’s been unpacking, and now I’m on my last couple of days before I’m back to the grind. Always the same; when you’re an adult, your holidays are used for appointments and other life commitments outside of work. It’s never actually a holiday, unless you’re flitting off somewhere with a suitcase.

I wish that someone else could carry the burden of adulting for me for a while. This someone could do the worrying, work, chores, kids etc. But then what would I do with myself? For a couple of weekends in a row, I refused to make plans or run about doing errands, unless absolutely necessary. Why? Well, I knew I had the move coming up and I wanted to chill. I found those weekends to be incredibly dull/boring and I found it gave me all the time in the world to overthink/analyse pointless things.

I want peace and I want to chill with no responsibilities, yet, when I try to take time off I find it makes my anxiety worse. I honestly cannot win. I’m very confident that I am not on my own here. Pretty sure that most adults, regardless if you have mental health issues or not, will be able to relate. My Dad is 66 and is sure he’s still 18, it’s just his body that’s failing him. Do any of us really know how to adult? Or are we all just winging it, with some of us better at faking it than others?

It would be good to know; Can you find the time to chill? If so, what do you do to relax and avoid adulting for a bit? I seriously need to find a way to escape adulting, that doesn’t involve too much downtime to over think and preferably not a hangover!