Adulting sucks

Adulting is tiring. Fact. We spend our whole youth willing mile stone birthdays. First we cannot wait to be 10, because this is double digits. Then we cannot wait to be 13, then 16, 18, and 21. We wish our youth away, as we’re so eager to grow and do as we please. Pffft how naive were we right? Adulting sucks!

I’m a married mother of 4 who works full time. Do I really need to elaborate much more than that? Every single waking moment of my life is busy. I’ve always got something going on, and for the most part I like it, as keeping busy distracts my anxious thoughts. Although I understand that being busy is good for me, It would just be nice to not have to adult some times.

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m mentally mature for adulting. Do you know what I mean? Like, I look at others my age, or younger, and I think “wow, they really have their shit together” or “They are so much more mature than I am”. I still feel like I’m 18, and that every single day I wake up and just wing it. I often worry that I missed an invitation to ‘Adulting College’ , where people were educated and given tips on how to adult.

I have been on holiday for the last 2 weeks and I have to say, it’s been a pretty meh holiday. We have just moved house (again), so the first week was spent packing. Albeit very lazy packing. We just took it nice and easy over the week, given it was terrible weather and we knew we had a week to get it done. Then this week it’s been unpacking, and now I’m on my last couple of days before I’m back to the grind. Always the same; when you’re an adult, your holidays are used for appointments and other life commitments outside of work. It’s never actually a holiday, unless you’re flitting off somewhere with a suitcase.

I wish that someone else could carry the burden of adulting for me for a while. This someone could do the worrying, work, chores, kids etc. But then what would I do with myself? For a couple of weekends in a row, I refused to make plans or run about doing errands, unless absolutely necessary. Why? Well, I knew I had the move coming up and I wanted to chill. I found those weekends to be incredibly dull/boring and I found it gave me all the time in the world to overthink/analyse pointless things.

I want peace and I want to chill with no responsibilities, yet, when I try to take time off I find it makes my anxiety worse. I honestly cannot win. I’m very confident that I am not on my own here. Pretty sure that most adults, regardless if you have mental health issues or not, will be able to relate. My Dad is 66 and is sure he’s still 18, it’s just his body that’s failing him. Do any of us really know how to adult? Or are we all just winging it, with some of us better at faking it than others?

It would be good to know; Can you find the time to chill? If so, what do you do to relax and avoid adulting for a bit? I seriously need to find a way to escape adulting, that doesn’t involve too much downtime to over think and preferably not a hangover!

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