Between working, family and maintaining a home, it’s tiring. It means that we probably don’t go out as often as we would like, and definitely don’t see or talk to the people we care about nearly as often as we would like. We make comments about ‘life getting in the way’ and shrug it off, as this is just how it is. We are all guilty of it.
For several years I have been so focused on working to create a better life for the kids, that I’ve completely lost sight of people outside of my immediate family. My friends have been a nice to have luxury that will always be understanding of how busy I am, and vice versa. Its just how life is, right? Even when we get down time, the urge to spend it in a pair of jammie bottoms, and chill in front of a good T.V show or movie, far outweighs that of getting dressed to sit in a pub yawning, right?
I have people I call friends, only a couple of which are best friends, but I think that is true of everyone. As discussed in earlier blogs, I’m not a very tolerant person. There are not many people that I like. Very few I class as ‘gooduns’, but those that are, generally are my friends. I have met a lot of gooduns over the years, some of whom I’ve kept in touch with, and some not as often as I would like. Purely because, life gets in the way.
Last week, when driving to work, one of my besties phoned me to tell me that one of the gooduns had passed away suddenly. It was such a shock. This was someone who had long term health problems, but I just never considered that one day it could be fatal. This was someone I had met through work, and they were the kind of work colleague you’d be smiling on your way in to see, because you knew their banter would get you through.
Whilst they weren’t a bestie, they were someone I thought very highly of, and who I had a lot of respect for. They were always kind to me, made me laugh, and thought of me when arranging social gatherings. How often did I go to these? Not often. Life got in the way. We would sometimes speak on social media, but even that fell by the wayside over time. Life got in the way.
When they took unwell earlier this year and spent a long time in hospital. I saw that others were visiting, so I chose not to, as they had plenty people to visit them already. They wont mind if I don’t go this time. I’ll go another time. Did I? Nah, life got in the way. I spoke to them via social media, but it was short and sweet. I didn’t follow up, because why? Yup, life got in the way. I have made the horrible assumption that there will always be tomorrow….
Today was his funeral, and as far as funerals go, it was lovely. The woman who did the reading for them told the story of their life, of which caused a lot of laughter. Can’t say I’ve been to a funeral before where I’ve laughed like that. The recurring theme was definitely that they brought happiness and laughter wherever they went. Hearing these stories made me realise that if I didn’t let life get in the way all the time, I could have experienced more of that laughter. This made me extra sad.
As we were leaving I bumped into a lot of old colleagues. How awkward is it to say “Hi, how are you?” as you’re leaving a funeral. I think we all felt equally as awkward to be fair. It was lovely to see everyone, but not under these circumstances. One of my old colleagues said to me “It just makes you realise huh? You just want to hold those you love that wee bit tighter now”. They are so right. It really does bring home how sudden these things can happen, and how wrong we are to believe that there will always be a tomorrow.
I really need to take stock and stop taking tomorrow for granted. It’s time I stop scrolling through the monotonous Facebook updates and reach out to those I care about and make time to see them. Even if it’s just time to talk on the phone, or a quick coffee and a catch up. Life is too short; We say it often, but do we really take it seriously?
If you have friends you’ve not seen for a while, or people you’ve fallen out of touch with and just always assume that you’ll pick up with them tomorrow. Don’t wait. As they say, tomorrow is never promised….
To all of my friends that read this, you are probably the bulk of my following! Thank you. I love you all, and I’m sorry for letting life get in the way. I will definitely be looking to take more time outside of this *motions to work laptop/kids/home* and make more time for us. Please, try to contain your excitement!