Growing up my Mum was very strict on how my sister and I spoke. We always had to annunciate properly. She would make me say things like “the rugged rascal ran round the rugged rock”. Wtf?! We live in Scotland?! Why couldn’t I just sound like everyone else? Uuugh! As it happens, being an adult now, I’m thankful to her for this. Mainly because I consider myself as someone with two “languages”. I can articulate myself well and be understood by anyone from outside of my home town, but I can also slip into what we call oary ways.
Another thing my Mum has always been quite strict on is swearing. She absolutely hates it! So imagine her horror to have a daughter with a mouth like a sailor? One word in particular that my Mum hates is c*nt. I have witnessed my Mum recoil in utter disgust when she hears it. Until the last year or so, it was a word I wouldn’t use. I would swear like a trooper, but always say C U Next Tuesday instead of c*nt. This was until I’ve come to realise it’s just such a befitting word for a lot of people. Just like the word fud! Sometimes no other word in the English language can do a person justice.
Here is a full list, of the kinds of people I think are befitting of being called a c*nt;
- Bitchy/two faced people
- Selfish people – those who just self serve constantly
- People who lack empathy – unless you’re a psychopath or sociopath, it’s a choice!
- People who leave a spot of milk in the bottom of a carton and don’t tell anyone more milk is needed!
- Using the last of the coffee and leaving people to find out in the morning – it’s just nasty!
- Those people who like to stand and talk in shop aisles, usually with their trollies, blocking people from getting in or out!
- Bus drivers that see people running for their bus but take off anyway!
- People who smoke around children!
- Gaggles of girls who scream and just make a lot of really annoying noises in pubs – no one cares! And if you’re that desperate for attention, might I suggest you apply for Big Brother or Love Island. Or some other brain dead pish.
- People who cheat at board games – just lose gracefully!
- People who condescend because they know all (or at least think they do)
- Outright liars
- People who pretend to be your friend, but will bad mouth you to others – wtf even is that all about? How long ago were you at school?
- People who control their partner and dictates what they can do/who they can see/speak to – this goes for men and women! If you’re that paranoid about your partner you need to be a controlling/dictating c*nt, it’s not the relationship for you, and you need some serious help!
- People who let their kids run about, scream, and be generally destructive in public places – no it’s not cute. They’re being a little shit. You’re supposed to be teaching them how to behave. No it’s not a case of “kids being kids”. Everyone is judging you, and rightly so. Just get a grip of your child and parent!
- Couples who fight in public – criiiiiiiinge!
- Kids that hang around outside shops, barely past puberty, smoking, asking you to by them alcohol! – get in the bin!
- Cyclists who insist on being in the middle of the road! – how can we manoeuvre safely past you?! Uuuugh
- People who can’t admit when they’re wrong
- People who voted to leave the EU based on “they’re taking all our jobs and our benefits….get them back to their own country”. Then complain they won’t have cheap holidays abroad anymore – you’re a double c*nt
- Racists, homophobics, xenophobics etc
- Antivaxxers – how bloody dare you gamble your child’s life?!? Get yourself educated!
- Tory voters – if austerity is your bag? You’re a c*nt! Plain and simple!
- Drug dealers that sell to kids – I mean dealers are bad enough, but adults can do as they please I guess. Selling to kids is super c*nty
- Parents who put nights out and drinking before their children – don’t have kids if they’re not your priority!
- People who cut you off, yet stalk your social media/blog – you’re an especially sad c*nt.
- Arse lickers/brown nosers
- People who insist on staying on their phone through the check out – Rude!take time to notice the person serving you!
- Men who claim their partner tricked them into having a child/another child – just wow! I’ve met two now. They also tell select others how they don’t want to be in their relationship, YET, share lovey dovey stuff online?! Mmmmhmmm. C*NT.
- Managers that don’t/can’t manage their team – it’s literally in the job title!! Just do it!
- Entitled people – you are owed nothing, work for it like the rest of us!
Sorry Mum! I’m sure even you can agree with this list. I also feel it quite cathartic to put some (yup only some) of my top pet peeves! What would you put on your list?