Disassociation / Depersonalised / Detached
This is one of the biggest symptoms for me. The only way I can describe it is it's like you're still dreaming. The world doesn't feel real. I feel completely detached from everything and everyone. I always feel exhausted when I'm like this, and it can take hours to days for it to go away. Usually I feel like this after a bout of anxiety, but sometimes it just happens and I don't know why.
Today I have woken up and I feel completely detached. I feel scared, for no real reason, I know I have to leave the house at some point and this is filling me with dread because I don't feel right. My brain feels foggy. I don't feel like I'm thinking straight and everything is just so distant. I hate when I get times like this. It feels like I'm slipping away and I worry that I wont come back.
When I'm going through this I find it hard to focus, on anything. It makes getting through a day really difficult only adding to the feeling of exhaustion. Today is a Sunday, which is good, because when this happens when I'm at work, I really struggle! It's even worse when colleagues notice my attention to detail slipping and point it out, as it only intensifies my feeling of being detached.
At this moment in time, I'm lucky, because now I understand what it is, and I know it wont last forever. In the beginning this used to petrify me. I genuinely thought it was a sign that I was officially losing my marbles.
My coping mechanism for this is to distract myself, or even grounding (check out my post on grounding here) myself. When I distract myself, I just force myself to get up and do something. For example, today I'm making myself go out of the house and run some errands. Putting myself out into society and making myself interact with people. It's horrible, it fills me with dread in case something horrible happens, but I know I need it. It really does help. I know deep down that interacting with people, helps to pull me back into reality and stops me from feeling quite so spaced out and detached. It doesn't work like a magic wand, and it may still take a few days to pull myself back in, but it does help. I find the more I seclude myself, the worse I feel.
If you can relate, then please try grounding yourself, and try not to isolate yourself. I know how scary it is, and how horrible it feels, but honestly? Getting yourself up and outside, integrating with people, will help.